hearthstone

The Hearthstone Conspiracy

Ladies and gentlemen, this post is a warning.

A warning of a plot against us, fellow gamers. It is a plan so sinister, the conspirators had to cover it underneath an innocent, fun trading card game. A conspiracy that is out to get us, my loyal readers.

The name of it? Hearthstone.

Honestly, did you believe that Blizzard would simply publish a harmless, free-to-play strategy game out of love for the franchise and the people who grew up with it? Do you think they would simply allow you to play a game, reminiscing about the times of Reign of Chaos and The Burning Crusade?

Clearly, you were not prepared for their true plan. Once you have drowned yourself in the TCG madness of Hearthstone, surrounded by sounds that seem so familiar, something will awake in you. The digital sorcerers from Irvine, California have hidden an invocation in the code, calling out to the buried nostalgia and latent need to be in Azeroth. Before you know it, you will renew your subscription and find yourself once more in Ironforge, asking yourself how you got there.

Make no mistake, brothers and sisters. Some have already fallen, while others are still resisting the spell woven into Hearthstone’s virtual fabric. I came here, on this soapbox of mine, to stand with you against this temptation. Be strong, my brethren, and do not give into temptation! What you hope to find in WoW will not be there. The world has changed, and is no longer the place you remember. All you will find are broken memories and nostalgic thoughts, haunting you in every corner of a world you once called home. Keep to the card-game variety of Azeroth, and you will be fine!

Be strong, my friends, and listen to your voice of reason just like I do. I stand here, unwavering, not renewing my subscription. Never mind the download of the client in the background, for that is just a trick to– oh who the hell am I kidding?!

See you in Azeroth. GG, Blizz.

 

A card-game bout of madness.

Are you out of your damn mind, Blizzard? It’s been barely a week since the release of the new Pokémon, and I’m far from done with it. Yeah, I’ve beaten the E4 twice and started breeding some badass ‘mons, but I still got a lot to do! I still have to get me some legendaries, I have to beat the Battle Maison, have to get the most beautiful Pokémon in existence to maximum level and so on! And what do you do, you idiots? What do you do, thinking you can just stomp in here like you own my gaming time? What. Do. You. Do?!

You give me a damn Hearthstone beta key.

I hate you. Yes I–no wait, I love you. No, I can’t allow myself to love you! You stole enough time from me already. We can’t be together any–but wait, you look so good. Maybe I just…

See, see what you’ve done to me? You’ve turned me into some shizophrenic maniac who is re-evaluating his feelings for you. It’s like that hot but crazy ex-girlfriend who suddenly pops up at your favorite pub and starts hitting on you. You got me so mad I compare you to hot females. You’re a company, damnit. A company!

I’m strong, you know. I can just handle this as the grown man I am. I am the master of my fate. I’ll just leave you there, you beta invite. No one forces me to dive back into the Warcraft fandom. That’s in the past, that is no longer–

Hold on. What do you say? There’s a card that actually says “Handle it”? A peon shouts “Job’s done” at the end of your turn? The entire game is one in-jokes filled tribute to the franchise?

Damn you, Blizzard. Damn you. Well, dear readers, if you haven’t heard from me in, say, a week, call my parents and tell them my killer resides in Irvine, California.

Chin out.

P.S.: No worries, I’m sane and having a great time with Hearthstone. A serious impression’s coming up! 

 

It’s a great time to love (digital) card games

As my recent posts about the mother of all trading card games show, I am a big fan of the genre. Something about building your own deck, tinkering with it game after game, until you have the ultimate tool to wreak havoc on your friend’s cards is just alluring, and there’s a reason I keep trying different TCG’s over and over again. It’s great to know then that several big fishes of the industry are about to launch a few new titles, and this post is dedicated to three digital TCG’s I’m looking forward to.

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Blizzard Hearthstones into the TCG business…again

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Hey, remember that TCG using Blizzard’s top-selling IP? Well, seems that Blizzard doesn’t, because they decided to make their own, free-to-play TCG called Hearthstone. The game has been announced this morning at PAX East, and opinions range from fanboy’ish squeals to devastating comments on the well-known forums.

Personally, I feel a bit let down. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t expect too much from the announcement in the first place. While I hoped for more info on that mysterious project “Titan”, I knew that we wouldn’t learn more about that. However, hearing about this…perculiar foray into the F2P market is something that somehow puts me off-balance. Is it a way for Blizz to test the waters, being the harbinger of a potential F2P conversion of World of Warcraft? Or is the behemoth among game developers trying to carve out a niche in the smartphone / mobile gaming market?

Whatever it is, from what we have seen so far of Hearthstone, I’m not impressed. It looks like Blizzard doesn’t draw from the already existing TCG, which is considering its quality a real shame. I hope that Blizzard is not creating an extremely simple game to catch a few quick bucks, and is just trying something new.

Beta launches this summer, so I guess we will know more then. Patience’s a virtue!